Polynesia 2012

Ms Statendam

NOVEMBER 23, 2012 to DECEMBER 21, 2012

SAN DIEGO

I'm writing this near the end of the voyage and I can't remember much of that day. I guess I'll have to watch my DVD when I'm done. I have some great little video clips from Huatulco, Mexico of me on the beach and some underwater surfing footage but the internet is so slow I can't upload them. Maybe in a few weeks!

HONOLULU, HAWAII

We had an overnight here but when you work on a ship you don't ever get an entire day off and you rarely get an entire evening off either so it was quite frustrating to be in Hawaii again and only have about four or five hours of free time. But, don't get me wrong, I'm still very grateful for it. I was totally exhausted and should of been sleeping but I sat on a bus stuck in rush hour for one hour to get to Waikiki just in time to rent a board and paddle out for an hour of surfing. It was totally worth it. It is the best $10 you will ever spend. I finished the day with a slushy drink at Duke's and picked some Mai Tai mix to add to my now legendary bar. More on that one later as it required an entire posting. Maybe even it's own blog!

LAHAINA, MAUI

Again, only about four hours of free time but I managed to rent a board and surfed two days in a row on two different islands in Hawaii both as the sun was going down! This ship is really weird. I am the only one who surfs and the only one who golfs. What are these people doing with their lives? The crew only seems to be interested in finding free WiFi in a port or Walmart. They can have it. I found a great little restaurant called the Mai Tai lounge. I had their version of a Mai Tai which was excellent along with a pulled pork and, my favourite, a Mahi Mahi soft taco. Fantastic. I bought a 1950s style pair of black and white surf shorts from my favourite surf clothing shop, Hurley, and then had a 100% Kona coffee espresso. Just another typical day on the road!

HILO, HAWAII

I finally got to see Mauna Kea in person and the famous black sand beaches which when photographed look a lot darker. Exploring and shooting the black lava tubes was really trippy. The guide on the bus spoke reaaaaalllllyyyy ssssllllloooooowwww aaaaaannnnndddddd  sssssssoooooofffffftttttttt. Just like my Uncle Ben who lived in Hilo for many years.

KIRITIMATI (CHRISTMAS ISLAND) / FANNING ISLAND / STARBUCK ISLAND

Okay. So the plan was to stop at Christmas Island but due to a large tropical depression the entire voyage began to go sideways and the port was cancelled. The three day trip across the Pacific was a bit of a roller coaster ride which was freaky but you kind of get used to it. It was like constant turbulence in a plane. Kirtimati is know for its numerous and colourful land crabs that migrate by the thousands into the ocean to mate. We passed a tiny island called Starbuck Island which the Captain said is very rare to see. We were tendered just outside of Fanning Island which I called Gilligan's Island. It has a beautiful tropical lagoon in the middle and no lights, no roads, no motor cars, not a single luxury. Like Robinson Caruso, it was as primitive as can be. Perfect. But the waters were too rough for the lifeboat tenders so we had to cancel. But that's okay because according to one of the twenty something crew members, there's nothing to do on the island anyways. Unbelievable.

BORA BORA, FRENCH POLYNESIA

Imagine yourself on a tropical native Indian reservation and you will have painted yourself an accurate portrait of Bora Bora. Look to the right and garbage and the smell of burning plastic are common as you circle the island. Look to your left and their is the stunning lagoon with bungalos on the water. Bora Bora was a major disappointment to the passengers and crew. The weather was bad as it is the rainy season. The sun never came out for more than a few minutes and rained heavily but we still went to the beach and swam in the warm water which was fantastic. The hotel Bora Bora, the first major hotel on the island with the bungalos on the water has been closed for a few years along with Club Med because of hurricanes and financial problems. Doing business on Bora Bora is a major challenge. We passed by the foundation of a Hyatt that never got completed because they could not get the signatures required from the locals. Bora Bora is not the tropical paradise you imagine. Moorea is.

RAIATEA, SOCIETY ISLANDS

Cancelled. The seas were too rough for the tenders. The Captain apologized and said that they have never seen this kind of weather in twenty years here.

PAPEETE, TAHITI, FRENCH POLYNESIA

Land! Civilization! French food in a tropical environment! More surf clothing shops! I had the morning off before my island tour so I tried to go surfing but you can't rent boards here and you would have to rent a car and know where the local spots are. Plus the waves are mostly point breaks and the water was quite rough with strong currents. Not exactly Waikiki. There is a very famous wave here in Teahupoo that, when it is going off, turns into a huge glassy tube that big wave surfing dreams are made of. Professional surfers from around the world always have their eyes on the weather patterns that make great waves and when the right swell comes in they fly in from all over the world on a day or twos notice. I did not get to see it as it was about an hour away from my closet point on the tour. Papeete (papa-ee-tay) is a strange mix. It is a little bit rough around the edges like South East Asia but European and tropical. So wonderful to see surf shops while you are eating a pain au chocolate from a corner supermarket that sells bottles of real Champagne! Of course the crew had nothing better to do than complain about it. I asked one girl where she ate and she said McDonalds because "all the food is shit here". The lack of gratitude and the spoiled complaining attitude of young twenty year olds can be very grating and it's especially disappointing when it comes from the lips of stunning female beauties.

MOOREA, FRENCH POLYNESIA

For once the guide book did not lie. "This is your dreamed of tropical fantasy come to life." It certainly is. The Bali Hai hotel is still going strong. It is the first hotel to have the bungles on stilts over the water and one of the original owners still runs the place. It resides on a charming bay with a fishing village and a local school. I am heading here for a dinner and drinks next time round. The local fish is tuna, sword fish, and mahi mahi. My favourites. There is a type of ceviche which is made with fresh coconut milk and lime that I am dieting to try. A crew member and I will probably rent a car next time.  The stills of the bungaloes are from a cliff that overlooks the Sofitel resort.  Rooms start at about $350 a night. I could live on a similar hut for a month in Indonesia.

AVATORU, RANGIROA

Cancelled. Same as Raitea. I was really looking forward to this one as it is basically a huge circular white sand bar. February we will be back.

TAIOHAE, NUKA HIVA

One more day for this one. I really hope this one doesn't get cancelled. We are arriving at dawn so I am planning on doing a time lapse video shot that begins at night and has the island popping out of the glowing sea. I'll take a 30 or 40 minute shot and speed it up to ten or fifteen seconds. Should look amazing if the sea isn't rough.

SAN DIEGO

The end of the cruise and the end of the world since it is Dec 21, 2012. We are already planning an end of the world party. Maybe a pre-apocalyptic luau like my book? For those of you who don't know I have self-published a book on Blurb called, Terrance Ignatius Tipple the Tiki Time Traveller: Book 1 - The Preapocalyptic Luau. You can find links to it on earlier posts on this blog. I picked up a funky santa hat in Papeete and I have a couple of Christmas ties so I'm all set!  

At least if the world ends on the 21st I'm in California. All the damn hippies will sorely disappointed on the 22nd. Anyways, Happy Holidays!